MEET THE NEEDS OF YOUR FAMILY
4 PILLARS OF BEING READY, ABLE, AND WILLING TO MEET THE NEEDS OF YOUR LOVED ONES
MOST OF US...
...have heard the pre-flight instructions given by a flight attendant:
“Should the cabin experience sudden loss of pressure, stay calm and listen for instructions from the cabin crew. Oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat.”
What’s the next part?
“If you are traveling with children, make sure that your own mask is on first before helping your children.”
We value the welfare of our children above all else and we would do anything to ensure their safety. So why, then, are we asked to prioritize ourselves before our children in the event of an emergency?
The answer is simple:
If we don’t take care of our own needs first, we will not be able to meet the needs of our children or our families.
It’s easy, if not common, for parents to be consumed by responsibilities outside of ourselves: work, finances, parental requirements, home maintenance, the needs of others, etc. Though these obligations are important, it is even more important to take care of our own needs first. Doing this will allow us to more effectively meet the needs of those around us.
Readjusting your priorities may seem difficult on the surface, but if you are aware of and nurture the following four pillars of personal needs, the path to more fully connecting with your family will be much less difficult.
Here are our four pillars for being ready, willing, and able to be fully present for your loved ones.
1: PHYSICAL NEEDS: take time to care for your basic physical needs
Sleep: listen to your body and learn what sleep you need to be alert and present - a tired mind is a foggy mind. A sleep- deprived parent is more likely to be irritable, impatient, and less attentive to the needs of others.
KEY TIP: Most adults require 7-8 hours of sleep each night (which, for many parents, may prove difficult - but give it your best effort!)
Eat well: proper nutrition is essential to mental awareness and good mental health. Experiment with different types of foods and pay close attention to how your body and mind react to them. You cannot be truly present or able to care for your family without caring for your own dietary needs.
KEY TIP: Don’t be “all or nothing” when trying to eat right - give yourself some wiggle room, accept mistakes, aim for consistent progress, and celebrate your victories
Be active: Our bodies are meant to move and be active. Countless studies make it absolutely clear that exercise is immensely important to your overall physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
KEY TIP: The best exercise is one that you actually do. Don’t get hung up on going to the gym every day or training for a marathon - just get yourself moving. Research indicates that 150 minutes per week of even moderate exercise - such as a brisk walk - is very good for the body and mind.
2. EMOTIONAL NECESSITIES: take a daily inventory of your mind and body. Notice and name the emotions you’re experiencing, and listen to what they’re telling you.
Identify areas where you feel frustration, anger, stress, peace, joy, and happiness. Practice sharing these things by note taking or journaling. Once you’re comfortable with identifying these areas, share them with others in a safe space.
KEY TIP: Children benefit greatly from parents who are willing to be vulnerable by sharing their emotions; it helps kids see their parents as real, approachable people.
3. SPIRITUAL AWARENESS: spirituality is highly individual, but take time to reflect on the following items.
Question 1: Do you have an awareness of your own spiritual beliefs, notions, or experiences?
Question 2: Do you have belief in God or a higher power?
Question 3: Have you felt a deep emotional connection with nature, a song, the message of a movie, or a person that you love?
KEY TIP: If you answered yes to any of these, take a moment to reflect on them and focus on how they may enhance your own life and enrich your relationships. Take time each day to ponder, reflect, and be mindful of your deeper thoughts, feelings, and impressions.
4. SOCIAL INTERACTION: we are social animals, and we need to connect with others.
Scientifically, we are happier, healthier, and more likely to thrive when we are connected in meaningful relationships.
Conversely, science shows that the feeling of loneliness serves the same function as hunger; it tells our mind and body that we are socially hungry and in need of connection. If that hunger is not properly addressed there can be tangible ramifications.
KEY TIP: Take time each day to reach out, with real intent, to someone in need or someone that you care for. If you feel isolated or lonely: make a phone call; send a text; meet a friend for lunch, etc. Don’t hesitate to reach out to someone.